Through My Eyes: Is Self-Love Really a Selfish Act?
- Rima Bhandari
- Oct 25, 2023
- 3 min read
Self-Love is not selfishness, but a path to fulfilment in life.

This is a topic that is dear to my heart. I know from my conversations with many people that they struggle with the concept of self-love (I did too). Most people feel that they shouldn't have time for themselves because it is selfish, and it’s wrong to be selfish. Therefore, they find themselves feeling guilty about making the time to do things they enjoy.
In my early spiritual days when I connected to oriental masters and guides I only got one message for a few months - SELF LOVE ❤️. I didn’t understand the meaning of this initially. But when I understood and realised it, my life changed magically.
I want you to consider this for a moment: What if you could be “selfish” in a good way? What if it’s about enabling you to be the best version of yourself?
Reframing it that way puts a different spin on it altogether. This new perspective may help you realise that it is okay to pursue whatever it is that you may wish to pursue. It could be something as simple as taking a few minutes out of your day for self-care, or maybe finally devoting time to start that new course you’ve been wanting to take, or taking a healing session for yourself.
For someone else, it could be to get into the rhythm of regular exercise or to start eating healthy, stop drinking, or whatever else it is. The key here is knowing that it’s actually okay to give yourself permission to do that. Self-love is not being selfish.
As a matter of fact, when you take care of yourself then you become a better version of yourself. And then it has a positive effect on other people around you. It is a win-win situation for everyone, I feel.
Most of us are naturally people-pleasers. We prefer to do things for others rather than for ourselves. We even go as far as advising them that they should take care of themselves first before attending to others. But when it comes down to taking care of ourselves, we forget our own advice.
This tendency is especially evident in women (men I know you do too). But for women, society and nature have made us in such a way that we spend so much time nurturing and taking care of others – while paying little attention to ourselves. We forget that nurturing ourselves is of the utmost importance and the only person that can do it is one’s own self.
So, take a moment and think for yourself: “What is it that I want to do for myself?”
I understand that this may be an entirely new concept for you; so, don’t push it too hard. Instead, just take a few minutes for yourself each day and start with small steps. Experiment with this idea.
You may have a desire to entirely change something in your life; but if you don’t start to pay attention to your own self-care, then it’s easy to become resentful of other people’s lives, of what they are doing and achieving. By going back to the soul’s level, we will know what we’re crying out for. Your soul will be so grateful for it and so will others around you. Working to become a better version of yourself does not mean there’s anything wrong with how you are right now. It simply means that by nurturing yourself, you’ll feel healthier and more vibrant. This is very important for your own growth and development.
Take the time now to ask that question one more time: “What is it that I want to do for myself?”
Live your life in a new light.
Rima
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